


About Today

by Daiya_Darko



Series: Bruce Banner is Not a Shy and Passive Man [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Break Up, F/M, hulkwidow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 10:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They try to reach out for each other, but they’re sheathed in darkness and neither wants to be the first to step into the light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About Today

When Bruce is around Natasha, he feels calm. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this peace, this tranquility just from being around another person, but in the back of his mind, he knows it won’t last.

He knows how good they are for each other; they’re naturally non-intrusive, private people. Natasha has her work, and Bruce has his. Their paths cross at meal times and for sleep, some times. They fight together and sleep together. Their level of trust is like that of comrades in a military, not like lovers who stay up all night silently stroking each other’s hair.

Bruce likes their dynamic, because he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to open up to her, and based on the way she dodges his questions at times, Natasha feels the same way.

Even when it’s clear their relationship is growing hollow, Bruce still likes having a warm body next to him in bed. That’s why when he wakes up in the middle of the night to a cold spot, he makes a mental note to say something.

At lunch, he rests a gentle hand on Natasha’s shoulder, only for her to immediately get up and walk away, barely giving him a look of acknowledgement. Bruce’s stomach churns, but he makes himself a pot of tea and goes to read some of Tony’s theories about inter-dimensional travel.

At night, he kisses her cheek and she merely rolls over in bed. Bruce sighs and goes to sleep.

He awakes in the middle of the night when he hears her push the covers back and never return to bed. After an hour, Bruce gets up himself and walks down to the labs. He knows Tony is still awake, and Tony is the only one with access to security footage for the tower.

“Bruce? It’s four in the morning; what are you doing up?” Tony sets his coffee down on the desk and swivels his chair to face Bruce.

“I’m just curious about something. Can you show me footage from camera seventeen about an hour ago?” Bruce smiles softly, but he can feel the twitch beneath his lip. He hopes Tony doesn’t see it, and watches as the security cameras align themselves numerically. Tony selects camera seventeen and swipes his finger to rewind. He stops just an hour before, and does a bad job at hiding his surprise as he watches Natasha walk into Clint’s room.

Tony looks to Bruce, a look of concern on his face as he stands. “How long has this been going on, Bruce?”

Bruce shrugs. “I’m not sure. I had my suspicions when she did it last week. I may have slept through more of these.”

Tony orders JARVIS to pull up all footage showing when Natasha went to Clint’s room between the hours of midnight and five in the morning. About twenty different days show up, and Bruce tries not to feel disappointed.  He barely registers Tony’s arm pulling him in for a hug as his mind tries to play through the month, trying to make sense of it all.

“Bruce, I’m here for you if you need anything,” Tony’s voice is low and quiet in his ear, and he can feel the nicely trimmed beard brushing against his own chin. He knows what Tony’s trying to do, but he’s not really going to fall for it. He’s not going to give what he considers a lab partner at best more fodder for the daily Bruce Banner jokes.

 _Still,_ he thinks, _it would be nice to go to sleep with someone tonight._

Bruce leans into Tony’s touch, playing on his need to feel needed, and says, “I just want someone to hold at night.”

Even as Tony’s face lights up in earnest sympathy, Bruce feels somewhat bad for being so petty. He knows he’s just playing with Tony for the sake of his own emotions, but he wouldn’t put it past Tony to do the same, given the chance.

They sleep in Tony’s bed, Tony wrapped in Bruce’s thick, hairy arms, and Bruce smiling smugly to himself.

When the early morning comes, Bruce disentangles himself from Tony, who had begun clutching to his arms in his sleep. Bruce rolls his eyes and covers him in blankets, leaving without a word. He can’t help but wonder how many times Natasha has done the same with him.

Entering his room, he sees Natasha sitting on the bed, brow furrowed in confusion. She looks up, startled by his sudden appearance.

“You weren’t here when I woke up this morning. I thought you might have finally ran,” Natasha says, and Bruce can hear the lies in her words.

“Actually, you weren’t here when I woke up at three in the morning. I figured you had finally ran back to Clint.”

Natasha’s eyes fix themselves on Bruce’s face, looking for a tell-tale pulse of anger, but he’s calm, and that worries her even more. Bruce registers her worry and smiles.

“We should really talk about our relationship, Ms. Romanov, because I don’t want any more lies or misunderstandings,” Bruce says as professionally as possible.

Natasha stands and walks over to him, pressing a soft hand to his face. “I want to talk about it to. I’m afraid of opening up to someone as I have with Clint. I hope you can be patient with me.”

Bruce takes her hand from his face and laughs. It comes out sharper than he intended, but he can’t stop himself. “I was just going to tell you to leave. Get your stuff from my room and move in with Clint. You’re clearly more comfortable with him.”

Natasha’s face twists in confusion and hurt as Bruce pushes past her to get to the bathroom. She follows, pleading, “But I _want_ to be that comfortable with you! You don’t understand – ”

“Actually, I do. I of all people do, Natasha, and you seem to keep forgetting that,” Bruce snaps. “I’m patient, but I also know when to give up.”

Even though he doesn’t say it, Natasha knows what he really means.

“We can make this work, Bruce.”

“We can, I’m sure, but your dishonesty with me a few minutes ago tells me that we never can.” Bruce begins brushing his teeth. When he realizes Natasha is still standing there in disbelief, he pauses and says through a mouthful of paste and suds, “Is there anything else?”

Natasha’s face grows hard. She turns and leaves without another word, and even though Bruce feels a sense of liberation, he also feels as if he’s broken a promise.

He never wanted to hurt her again, and here he stands, acting like a selfish asshole in high school, full of passive aggressive emotions.

Bruce spits and leans his head against the mirror. The cool surface feels relaxing against his quickly heating skin. He’s not sure if he’s more angry at himself or her, but can’t deny he’s probably angrier at himself.

“Bruce?”

Tony stands in the doorway, arms folded, and asks, “Is everything okay?”

Bruce inhales slowly through his nose and exhales out his mouth. He stands up straight and smiles.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Want to get breakfast?”

**Author's Note:**

> This series has been long in the making, but I'm finally putting it all together. Everything from here on out can be read in any order, but this and Exile Vilify are needed to understand most everything else.


End file.
